its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
