I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
