i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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