ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
