You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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