Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
