What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
