Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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