I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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