I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
