I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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