Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Can I color on your dick again?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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