Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
