This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
