i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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