is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
