If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
