Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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