Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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