Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My dick has a subreddit
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
