what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
