after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
