do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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