If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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