i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
