plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
