She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
