Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
