I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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