I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
