And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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