You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So much Jack, so little girl.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
