possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
