Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
