So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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