Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
