Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
