I want to have your abortion
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
