Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
