Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
