You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
