he shaved USA in his pubs
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
