Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
