They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
