He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
