this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
