there's paper in my vomit.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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