to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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