I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
