he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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